i'm okay, though. i was good. i think it helped that i wasn't in front of the tv or listening to the radio or anything.

but i did this morning. i took part in the moment of silence. i even woke up early so that i could be out of the shower by the time it happened. except when i got up, stephen was in the shower. so i turned on the today show and ironed my skirt.

and just a couple mins after i turned it on, they zoomed in on this girl holding up a picture. it was a picture of a young kid. about my age or maybe a little older. and then i read the name above the picture. and it said jason and (his dad's name) coffey. now i'm sure that whoever is reading this diary doesn't know who jason coffey is. but he graduated bryant a year or two ahead of me. it's scary. and i cried. i couldn't help it. of ALL the pictures and people that were there, they zoomed in on someone that i knew. that i saw walking to class 4 or so years ago. i mean... hello??? huh? i don't get it. it was hard. i lost it. it just hit home completely. i don't know. it's just weird.

so, after that, i took my shower and got out in time for the moment of silence. and some of the name readings. i got up into the ch's. it's just so weird. like, i feel the pain, and then i don't, and i go on with my life. and i kinda feel guilty about that, but this tragedy just proves how much you can't let things sit. how you just need to do it. live your life. live it how you want to. love people. share. ya know? so it's not as though i "forgot" about the day, but i went on with my life. cause i am still here. and i'm lucky to be here. and i'm glad to be alive. and i'm proud to be an American.

work was work. another day another five cents. you know how it goes. and then lisa and i went out to davis square to starbucks and the burren. it was good. i had a good time. i love lisa. i feel like i can tell her anything and she doesn't pass judgement. ya know?

i'm trying to get her to move out with me. i may have gotten her onto the idea. i hope she wants to. i told her my worst traits, and she seems okay with them. maybe i'll work on them, who knows. but i think we're compatible living together. i think we're very tolerant. :) so that's a good thing. we'll see though. i would love to move out on my own, but i just can't throw the cash around. ya know? so, i'll live with lisa for a year or two and then see how things go. :) maybe. if she wants to move out. which i think she will be able to.

we'll see though.