everything, this past week, has been taken away from me. or at least that is how it seems. i have no focus, no desires, no goals, no wants. nothing. it's all just gone. and i don't know where it is or how to find it. or if i even want to find it. maybe starting from scratch would be good.

i really don't know how all this happened. work has definitely taken a lot out of me. i feel overwhelmed and i've said that plenty of times to dom and to rob. well, more to dom. and i know that is putting him in an awkward situation, but there really is nothing else that i can do.

i just feel like i can't turn to someone and i can't even make any sense of what i feel. i don't really feel like being merry and being happy and being around people. i just don't feel it. and i don't know if i feel i even deserve it. ya know? i don't even know. i feel like i'm not making sense. i just feel very washed out. and worn. and i don't know how to deal. at all. nothing.

i have a feeling that most of this has to do with work. and i don't know why. i really shouldn't be crazy and stressing at work, cause it's not worth it. and i even get more upset at the fact that i do stress. cause i know i shouldn't. it's just so hard.

i feel like i'm between a rock and a hardplace. and i don't know why.

i just don't know. at all. i don't know.