photo courtesy of waterstain
i feel way to emotionally drained lately. this week has got to have been one of the worst weeks at mellon since i've been there. i don't even know what to think of that place anymore. i mean. i love the people. i can't stand my manager and i hate that dom has to put up with my manager about things dealing with bad attitudes within the group. but dom wouldn't have it any other way. every time i think of that meeting that dom had with us on wednesday, i just want to cry. esp. the part where he said that we were easily replaced and to not walk around thinking that we're valuable to the team. the hurt. deeply. cause that's not dom. that's rob. and i hate it so much. cause i don't want dom to have to go through that. but he has to, cause he has to play the game. i just want to go up to rob and knock some freakin' sense into him. and have him realize that dom is a great supervisor. and that janice was an incredible supervisor and that respect comes from how a person carries him or herself. it's not from yelling at us. belittling us. that's not going to make us work harder. in fact, it'll probably make us not work hard at all. and to hear rumors from two separate people that rob wants to "replace" all the "foley" people. me, jenn, jess, and bob. that's who he wants to replace. ya wanna know what? we're the freakin' strongest people on the damn team. you replace us, you just get mediocre people. he's so fucked up. he really is. ugh. sorry. i need to vent. it's been aggravating me actually since tuesday night. right now i just feel that everything in my heart in dealing with work is totally drained out. and i just don't know how to fill it. and i don't know if i want to fill it. i feel like i'm in a weird situation. like, either we play the game with rob and suffer emotionally. or we get out of the team, move to a different dept. and have us replaced... thus, letting rob win. how do we win? i just wish that he understood that the reason why we get our work done, the reason why we're still a team, and the reason why we can make it through the day is because of each other. not because of him. not his managerial skills (which there is a lack there of), but because of each other. we keep each other's sanity. we hold each other together when times get rough. it's us. not him. i hope he falls. hard. because it's not fair to us or to dom or to the rest of the team.
i was going to complain about stephen as well. but i'll save that for another entry. that's a WHOLE 'nother entry on itself. why do i have to be aggravated at work and at home. at the same time? why? God, answer me that question. why?