i really don't know. but it did.

everything about it. work, after work, michael. the only thing that did look up for me was giving my parents their anniversary present. that really is about it. oh and the fact that i heard "i wear my sunglasses at night" by corey hart while i was driving to work this morning.

so i nearly exploded today at work. i did explode. but i kept it as quiet as possible. i said a questionable remark to dom over email. then i left for lunch, as tears ran down my face... and then i saw jess and lori in the stairwell laughing. i had to look down, cause if i looked up... i'd cry. and i didn't need them to see that. instead, i hurried down the stairs as trails of "what's the matter? what's wrong?" came from their mouths. i got outside, where i just felt free to cry... but instead i didn't, cause i saw marie (the LAST person i ever need to see when i'm pissed off - besides rob of course). and she thought it was so odd for me to be going to lunch at quarter to 3. which it was weird. but i couldn't help it.

after i passed her... i broke down and cried... the entire walk to my car.

pathetic, maybe. but i had to. i've just had enough with everything. i need change. drastic change. i need to be free. to figure out myself. to find out who i really am. and to love myself. i NEED these. and i don't have them.

i just don't get things sometimes.

thank GOD it's the weekend.