Write about the ghosts in your life. Those people, places and images that you just can't seem to shake, that seem to cling on no matter what. I'm not talking in terms of real people you can't get rid of, I'm talking in terms of what is left over from those who left or, perhaps, were never really there to begin with.

at first, i really had no idea what to even think about this topic. i wasn't even going to try to write about it, because i felt that i could not think of anything substantial enough. but i looked into myself and saw this somewhat as a challenge. a challenge in writing.

everything that i began to think of surrounded everything that was and is my grandfather. he passed away in november of 1996 after fighting cancer for several months. and i say is my grandfather cause he's always alive in my heart. always. he never left me. he never would. ever. i'm not going to go into every detail about my grandfather, but just what comes to mind. the things that i'll never forget.

i remember my sister and i putting on little dance recitals for my grandfather. we'd go in his bedroom, shut the door, and start giggling and moving into what we that were "star" moves. of course we only rehearsed for a matter of 5 minutes max. and then, it was time to perform. we'd do weird things. or we didn't really even do anything. but my grandfather would sit and watch and clap as though we put on the best show he has ever seen. or the time when my sister and i completely planned a song for my grandmother and grandfather's anniversary. we planned it for a couple of months. we wrote it. sang it. and performed it. in the kitchen. me walking in from the hallway and my sister walking in from the porch. bouncing around. singing. putting our hearts into it. and it showed. we got a standing o from my grandparents. we were so happy that they enjoyed it so much.

he was/is always proud of us. of his entire family. like any parent or grandparent. i remember walking into the room at his hospice. and the nurse at his bedside instantly looked at me and said, "you're one of carol's children. are you susan or kristen?" it amazed me that she knew. and she explained that my grandfather told her a lot about us. what we did when we were younger, what we were doing now, and where we were headed. she knew, because he told her. she repeatedly told me how proud he was of all his children and grandchildren. it didn't surprise me. i remember looking over at my grandfather with a sincere smile, although biting my lip, because i had a fear of breaking down into tears. and i didn't want to do that in front of my grandfather.

the church song "be not afraid" will forever remind me of my grandfather's funeral. it was one of many songs that my family had picked out for the funeral. but it always stayed with me. and always will. cause my grandfather wasn't afraid to go. and therefore i should not be afraid either. to handle anything.

so i'm really not sure if i even responded correctly to this idea, but i suppose each person may have their own way of interpreting it. my grandfather showed me compassion, strength, and pride through my life. in such a way, that i feel i can carry it on throughout the rest of my life and share it with those around me.

thank you, grandpa. i love you.