i could have gone out with stephen and steph, but i don't really like steph so i tend not to hang out with them. probably bad on my part, but for once i wasn't up for going out dancing. random, yes i know, since i tend to dance everywhere. but i just didn't feel like going out really.

i already talked to michael today, and we almost decided to meet tonight, but somehow both of us decided not to. or maybe i decided not to and then he just went with it or something. i really don't know. i have a weird relationship with him by far. oh well. but i did ask one of the supes at my work if it was okay to date a contact. and HE answered that there is no problem, cause one of his employees usta date one of the clients. so... i felt a little better, considering a supe agreed to it, ya know? not that i needed an "okay" but it was good to hear, anyway.

i don't know if i like michael or if i just like the fact that someone likes me, ya know? cause i really don't think i have that much in common with the kid, but i do enjoy talking to him. and i talk to him a lot. so, i don't really know what's up, ya know? i'm very nervous that he won't be attracted to me. VERY nervous. okay... for those of you that don't know... i'm a chunky chic. and i never know whether i should tell guys that as a warning or if i should look at it as whatever and just go with it. i suppose i shouldn't look at it as a big deal, but i feel completely rejected if i don't tell them and they have a problem with it. i mean, i know i should be proud of who i am, including what i look like, but sometimes it's hard, ya know? or maybe i should just do something about it. like lose weight. now *there's* a concept. how 'bout that kids... LOSE WEIGHT!!! oh, what will i think of next...

i read several chapters in harry today, so i feel somewhat accomplished when it comes to the book. i have neglected reading nearly this entire week. i haven't been up to much this week at all. i've just been exhausted and stuff.

i think i need a new job. i think that's what making me unhappiest over everything else. is unhappiest even a word? oh well, i'm using it anyway. go me, i'm sucha rebel. but i really do think that it's the job that's bringing me down. and the people i work with get on my nerves from time to time. this happens to be a nervy time with them.

anyway, i'm getting kinda sleepy... i'm gonna get ready for bed...

adios.