i'm more relaxed. and more focused. i'm more concious. i know how to deal. sort of. part of me doesn't, but that's only part. not all. which is better than last week. i found something that i screwed up on last week. but i didn't panic. i just brought it over to janice. and she helped me. sort of. i just didn't need to let dom know that i screwed up again. cause it shouldn't be his problem. and the last thing i need is to show rob. that's what i showed janice. cause she kicks ass. and i owe her big time.

so i went to target today to pick up some boxes, bags, tissue paper, wrapping paper, and other gifts for my child. not my child, but the child that i'm buying for through the mellon dss holiday celebration thingy. basically, you sign up to buy gifts for a child that otherwise wouldn't be getting gifts this holiday season. you can sponsor many children. i just sponsored one. but i got him everything on his list. i think i should buy more though. cause i didn't buy him too many toys. i bought him one building sorta thing. and i bought him a cd boombox and hats and gloves. and i bought him three books... one about the human body, another about things around the world, and also where the wild things are cause that's a good book. maybe i'll buy him a stuffed animal or something. i just feel that all the stuff i bought him was so... educational or something.... and not terribly fun. oh well. i'll decide tomorrow.

alright, i need to turn on the tv, cause i think that i hear stephen in his bedroom doing uh... some uh... things on his own. if you catch my drift.

is it just me or are they playing adam sandler's chanukah song more often than usual? i don't ever remember hearing it so much any other december. or maybe i'm just listening to the radio more? who knows. i like that song though. i think that it is swell.

i think i figured out what i'm doing for new years eve. lori at work's brother works at the inn at longwood, a hotel in boston, and there's this dinner/dance party thing going on. it's $100 per person and includes dinner, champagne, dj, hotel room and brunch the next day. that's not bad for $100 per person. i don't think anyway. so we just need to make up our mind about it and just go for it.

time to read. or do something else.