i just got too drunk... and when i get too drunk... i become miserable drunk. something that i don't want my coworkers to see... and more importantly something i don't need or want to go through.

and i pulled a bob porcello.... i left without telling anyone.

but i called dom when i was walking to the t station just to tell him that i left, but he didn't pick up. i called him when i got back to wellington, to tell him i got to my car safely. he didn't pick up. i called him when i got back to my apartment to let him know that i go home safely. he didn't pick up again.

and then i called michael. which i probably should not have done. anyway... i basically screamed and cried on the phone to him about how pathetic my life is. i haven't talked to him yet today. i would like to. and i'll apologize and he'll say "kristen, don't worry about it" like he always does. it's such a fucked up relationship that him and i have. cause we've never met, we're business contacts, but we talk on the phone nearly every night. and i've been 100% honest with him, and he says that he also has with me. i wish i didn't let him see/hear me that way last night. or at least not how i presented it. i just don't think it was fair to him at all. ya know? i do miss him, though. which may be pathetic, but it's true.

i hate being miserable drunk.....