i'm so excited... all on my own, i tought myself how to link things. so i'm a big dork, now that i can link my cliques/rings from the front page to another page. i'm such a dork, i know.... but i get excited when i figure out things on my own.

so stephen went to new york this weekend, which i'm happy over, because he was getting on my nerves... ya know? but lately everybody and everything has gotten on my nerves. hmm... i wonder why.

i wish i could be so open sometimes, but a lot of the times i feel like i can't really share my feelings with anyone that knows me. does that make sense? it makes perfect sense to me, but some people just don't get it. ya know? oh well... there are just some things in life that i can't handle... and i can't handle a lot at one time... not emotionally anyway. physically, yes... but emotionally is where i break down. and i've been emotionally drained for a couple weeks now.

i just don't get why people like fake people. like, it doesn't make any sense to me. yeah, they might have fun and a good time or whatever... but there is no substance to them whatsoever... and it's annoying. and it's more annoying that people actually think there's something great about these people.

oh well, i won't get into it, cause i've always had a hard time of explaining and defending myself. two things i need to work on getting done. where do people get their self confidence from, and why don't i have any? i'm a good kid, i'm smart, i'm decent looking, i'm fun... but when it comes to standing up for myself... i'm a dud. i can't do it. and it is so annoying.

oh well.... tomorrow i see train and i'll see cool people and i'll be majorly stoked and smiling and etc... so all will be good. i feel like going to newbury comics today and finding random $5 discs for upcoming bands and listening to them to see if they're good. maybe i will...